Yesterday's Tomorrow
by MorsDelecti
Summary: Maureen tries to make amends with Joanne and Roger's there to see her through it, but things do not go to plan and take a turn for the worse... Quite Angsty, rated T for Roger's mouth, A little bit of Mojo, and then Roger/Maureen Friendship, Lame summary


**A/N This was originally meant to be a short one-shot song-fic...Look how that turned out ^^ Anyways, originally it was gonna be a happy sorta thing, but it turned out waaaaaaaaaay more angsty than expected...I guess that's what I get for writing at 10 past midnight with a heavy heart huh? Anyways, it was originally based on Avril Lavigne's 'I Will Be' 'cuz whenever I hear that song I can just hear Maureen singing it in my head, but then again I also added in some lyrics from 'Tomorrow' too. Depending on whatever you think, this could be taken as a fic where Maureen and Roger are just friends, or more than that, either way works really, I didn't have a really depicted destination for that, so i'll just let you guys decide on what you feel. Anyways, please R&R 'cuz this is my first attempt at a RENT fic, so I'm just curious as to know whether it's any good... And I know the characters will proberly seem really OOC but (from experience) that's what love can do to you...Ok, I know that was just an excuse, but it wasn't a bad one *innocent look* Anyways, before I drone on any longer, I'll let you go ahead and read...**

**Disclaimer; RENT and all it's charries belong to the great Johnathan Larson and 'I Will Be' and Tomorrow' belong to Avril Lavigne, not me**

Maureen took a deep breath as she lifted a slender hand towards the door, knocking on the sturdy wood softly. This was going to be hard, but she had finally summed up the courage to talk things out, there was no going back now. She heard scuffling from inside and shuffled her feet nervously. A few quick clicks were heard and the door was pulled open. Maureen breathed a small sigh of relief as she saw Roger answer.

'Maureen? What's up?' He asked, one hand leaning to the door frame and the other stuffed into the waist pocket of his jeans casually. She sighed, if only she could feel as calm as he was right now. 'Are you alright?' His voice startled her for a moment, before she nodded swiftly. Although he could be quite a bum sometimes, he always seemed to her, like the big brother she never had.

'I'm fine…umm…' She shuffled her feet nervously, and Roger's eyebrow lifted, noticing the odd change in the usual diva's behaviour. 'Is Joanne here?' She finally asked, shifting again as she saw the rocker nod quietly. 'Can I see her?' It was Roger's turn to remain quiet for a moment, before he answered.

'I'm not sure she…'

'Please? It won't take long…' Maureen pleaded, gazing at him for the first time since he'd opened the door. Blue eyes met green as they shared a moment of silence. Roger could see the desperation and anxiety in Maureen's eyes from the way she was looking at him. And no matter how much she tried to hide it; Fear. Fear of what exactly he wasn't sure, but for now he wasn't inclined to ask. He slipped aside to allow Maureen space to enter the loft and he closed the door slowly behind her as she walked in. Maureen glanced around the old apartment she shared so long ago, brushing a free hand through her brown locks as she stood just beyond the door. For a moment she thought Roger had lied about Joanne being here at all, after all, it certainly didn't look like it, but her conspiracies were proven wrong as she heard a familiar voice call from somewhere in the kitchen section of the loft.

'Hey, Roger, where do you keep the…' Joanne's voice cut off abruptly as she came towards them and saw Maureen standing before her. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, before Joanne turned back.

'Joanne…' Maureen began, feeling a strange amount of pressure force down on her as the loft suddenly seemed so small. Joanne didn't turn, she merely placed the mug she was holding onto the nearest table and disappeared into the far bedroom. The moment Maureen watched Joanne turn her back, she felt her previous courage slip away from her. As the slight pang in her heart began to creep up on her, she turned back to face Roger who was leaning gently with his spine against the door.

'I should properly go…' She murmured the disappointment and lack of confidence evident in her voice. Not that she had had much when she had come knocking on the door in the first place, Roger thought to himself. So unlike the diva he used to know… Ever since their break-up, where had that boundless spirit gone? The untameable lion that she so often appeared to be? The girl he felt as if he had forever grown up with? Maureen trudged towards the door, expecting Roger to move out of the way and open it for her, but to her surprise, he didn't. In fact, he didn't even move from where he was leaning. He watched her look up in slight surprise. 'Roger? Could you please move?' She asked. So he was right, she had changed. By now, the Maureen he knew would be wrestling him out of the way and barging through the door in her normally dramatic fashion. As she awaited some sort of answer to her partially rhetorical question, he simply shook his head. Maureen's brow furrowed in confusion. Roger briefly closed his eyes, before opening them again to find Maureen still standing before him. He shook his head again, but more to himself.

'Go talk to her…' He told her finally crossing his arms over his chest, as if to show he would not move until she did so. 'That's what you came to do, right?' He asked, and she nodded quietly. 'Then say what you need to say. I'm not moving until you do…' He told her, putting on a childish face.

'Roger…Come on…You're acting like a child…' Maureen sighed.

'And you're not acting like yourself,' he countered, becoming serious once again. He looked into her eyes and she almost instantly looked away. 'Maureen… Ever since you… Ever since that day, you haven't been the same, and don't say you have because I can see that you're lying…What happened before…It hurt you deeper than you admit, and don't tell me it doesn't because I've known you long enough to see all of you, good and bad. It's like it's tearing you apart, and that's what scares me…'

'You're scared…?' Maureen asked her voice uncharacteristically small. He nodded before moving away from the wall and gripping her shoulders.

'Of course I am…I may not love you as a soul-mate, but I still care about you as a friend… And I don't like to see you hurting like this… Just… Just go talk to her… If not to reconcile, then just for closure… Hell, you both need it,' he said, hands still gripping her slim shoulders. For a moment the two of them remained silent. Then Roger dropped his hands down from her shoulders and closed his eyes once more. He started as he felt two arms circle around him and cling tightly, but as he opened his eyes, he saw Maureen hugging him tightly.

'Thank you,' she whispered as she felt a slight glimmer of new confidence fill her inside. Roger lifted his arms around her and hugged her in return.

'Anytime, now go say what you need to say…' He said as he let go and she stood back from him. With a gentle nod, she turned away from him and headed for the bedroom Joanne had walked into earlier. With a slim hand, she knocked softly on the bedroom door. After waiting a few moments without an answer, Maureen pushed the door open and stepped inside.

'Joanne…?' Maureen said as she made her way slowly over to the figure sitting on the end of the bed.

'What do you want?' The lawyer asked, harsher than she intended, but she still refused to look at Maureen.

'To say I'm sorry…' Maureen whispered.

'It's a bit late for that isn't it?' Joanne hissed.

'I know…but please…please…Can you forgive me…?' Maureen pleaded, desperation filling her voice. Joanne didn't answer; she didn't know what to say. It broke her heart all over again to hear the clear pain in Maureen's tone, but she couldn't just turn to a new page so easily and welcome her with open arms. It just wasn't that easy. Maureen sat down on the bed, but kept her distance.

'There's nothing I could say to you…Nothing I could ever do…To make you see what you mean to me…' She whispered, not sure if Joanne could hear her, or even if she wanted to, but letting the words out anyway.

'All the pain, the tears I cried, still you never said goodbye…Now I know…How far you'd go…' She turned and crept quietly closer to Joanne, her voice pleading as she crept closer.

'I know I let you down…But it's not like that now…This time I'll never let you go…' Maureen promised, reaching out to take Joanne's hand, but Joanne pulled away swiftly and shifted again. _This time? What does she mean by 'this time'? I'm sorry but I can't just forget everything like nothing happened…_Joanne thought, knowing she'd have to tell Maureen those very words, but not daring to yet. She'd at least give her the chance to say what she had to say.

'I'll be all that you want…And get myself together…Because you keep me from falling apart…All my life, I'd be with you forever…To get you through the day, and make everything ok…' Maureen lamented, knowing full well those words were coming from nowhere but her heart. She began to edge closer, but as she saw Joanne's look, she slipped off the bed and turned away for a moment, not wanting to let Joanne see how much it all pained her.

'I thought that I had everything…I didn't know what life could bring…But now I see…Honestly…You're the one thing I got right, the only one I let inside…I can breathe, when you're here with me…' Joanne couldn't ignore the words being spoken by her ex-girlfriend, and she wanted so desperately to believe every one of them, but a small something inside her was holding her back. She had been too trusting before; she couldn't go through it all again. She didn't think she could survive it all if that happened.

'If I let you down, I'd turn it all around… 'Cause I would never let you go…' Maureen spoke softly, turning back around to face Joanne, hoping that somehow, after all this, everything would be ok. Everything would be fine. Everything would return to normal. Whatever 'normal' was anymore…

'Without you…I can't breathe…I don't ever want to let you leave…You're all I've got…You're all I want…Without you…I don't know what I'd do…I can never live a day without you here with me…Do you see?...You're all I need…' Maureen whispered, taking hesitant steps towards Joanne before kneeling in front of her.

'Maureen…I…' Joanne said, unsure how to begin as she took a glance at the diva's hoping eyes. It hurt her that she would have to do it, she would crush them both, but she just couldn't handle it. There was no way she could take it if history repeated itself… 'Maureen…I just…I can't do this anymore…'

'Pookie…'

'Don't…Please…this is hard enough…I just…Can't…Maureen, I'm sorry…' And with that, the lawyer arose from the bed and swept past Maureen, out of the door, tears shining in her eyes, but refusing to shed them. Maureen leapt to her feet in an attempt to run after her, tears pooling in her eyes.

'Joanne! Wait! Please!' She yelled, running through the loft after her ex-girlfriend, but to no avail for Joanne was already long ahead. She sped down the stairs, tripping on one of the last few and falling to the ground level, striking her head against the harsh concrete floor. Despite the new injuries she sustained, Maureen scrambled to her feet and ran out the door, into the street. 'Joanne!' Maureen all but screamed as she felt her legs buckle beneath her and she fell to knees on the chilling wet ground beneath her. She slouched forward, bringing her head into her hands and sobbed openly, ignoring all but the tearing pain inside her.

Roger grabbed his jacket from where it lay draped over the couch and shrugged it on hurriedly as he threw the door open. He heard a loud thunk at the bottom stairwell and ran down, twice as fast as he thought possible and made his way to the now open door. He was glad he had brought his jacket, as it was blisteringly cold outside, which he dually noted as a blast of bitterly chilling air flew at him the moment he stepped out. Without a second thought, he started down the street, and barely got a few metres when he found a trembling figure hunched over in the middle of the pavement.

'Hey, you ok?' He asked, placing a hand on the person's shoulder before getting a proper look at them. 'Mo?' He pulled her upright and pulled her up to her feet. 'Hell, Mo, what happened?' He asked, though his question was soon forgotten as he saw her trembling violently. He shrugged out of his jacket and draped it around her shoulders before embracing her tightly. She burrowed against him, sobbing onto his shoulder all the while as he held her. 'Come on Mo, let's get you out of the cold,' he said, leading her back inside. They stopped at the stairs to the loft and Roger turned to face her.

'Wanna talk about it?' He asked, but she merely shook her head. The only times Roger had seen Maureen this distraught were when April died and Angel had passed away.

'I'm sorry…' She whimpered.

'Shh, it's ok, you have nothing to be sorry about,' he whispered. He held her close to her again before he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Something red. 'Maureen?' Roger pulled her back from his embrace to find a large gash that ran across the top right of her forehead down to just above her right ear. His eyes widened and he wondered just how he had not seen it before. 'Shit…' He murmured to himself, and then he felt Maureen begin to lean against him. 'Maureen? Are you alright?' He asked, but she gave no response as she fell limp against him. 'Shit…' he murmured again. He didn't have a mobile with him, and the nearest phone was up the stairs in the loft. Without a second thought, he slipped his arms underneath her and lifted her from the floor. Shifting her weight so she was in a comfortable position, he all but ran down the street to the nearest hospital he could think of. .Roger pulled his battered jacket tighter around the still unconscious Maureen. He looked down to see her eyes fluttering as she gazed up at him dazedly.

'Roger…My head hurts…' She murmured her words more of a drunken slur rather than a comprehensible statement.

'Don't worry Mo, you're gonna be ok…' He whispered, not knowing if she could hear him or not, but he hurried on. He burst through the doors of the emergency room, still clutching her tightly in his arms, fearful of her health.

'Somebody help!'

Maureen awoke to an extremely bright light and a slight aching in her head. As she opened her eyes she could make out that the light was in fact the white lights above her. As she looked to her side she saw a heart monitor measuring her heart beat gently and an IV strapped to her hand. As she looked to the other side, her eyes widened as she saw Roger lying in a chair, leaning on the blankets of her bed, peacefully asleep. And her hand was in his. She tried to pull away slightly, but this in turn awoke Roger from his own sleep and he looked up groggily. Then his eyes widened as he saw the green eyes staring back at him.

'Mo! You're awake!' He exclaimed.

'How long have I been asleep…?' She asked, judging by the look of surprise on his face, she guessed it had to have been a long time.

'Two and a half weeks,' he told her quietly.

'What? But how…?' Her voice lowered as everything that happened previously came back to her in an instant. Immediately, tears pooled in her eyes and Roger edged closer to her.

'You've been in a coma…You hit your head pretty hard…Not to mention you scared the shit out of me…' Roger explained, in all due seriousness.

'I…' But she couldn't continue as she began to sob and tears rolled down her face.

'Shh, it's ok…' Roger said, climbing up from his seat and enveloping Maureen into a soft embrace. 'It'll be ok…'

_No it won't, IT WON'T! _Her body screamed at her, several of her limbs aching in the process, but her mind wasn't focused on that, it was the way Roger had said those words to her. _It'll be ok…I want to believe you…When you tell me that it'll be ok…And I tried to believe you…Not Today…Tomorrow it may change…_As she felt Roger's strong arms encompass her, she felt a small smile pull at the edge of her lips, through her tears. Roger broke off from the hug and looked at his watch, and a look of regret passed over his face.

'I'm sorry Mo, I've gotta go, I promised the others I'd call as soon as you woke up…' He expressed, a slight hint of sadness in his voice at having to leave her after she just awoke. As he caught the despairing look on Maureen's face, he continued. 'But I'll be back later, I promise…' he said, hugging her quickly this time and heading for the door. As he reached for his jacket, which lay draped over the end of the bed, she spoke up.

'Roger…' He looked up at her as she called out his name. 'If…If you see Joanne…Tell her…I miss her still…' She murmured, avoiding his gaze until she had finished. He nodded quietly, and headed for the door, deciding to leave his jacket here for the time being, he could pick it up later. As he opened the door he turned to look at Maureen for a moment, then he closed it after him without a word.

Maureen looked down as she sat up, bringing her knees to her chest. Silent tears began to fall from her eyes as she laid her head against her knees gently and her shoulders shook as she cried. _Tomorrow it may change…_

**A/N I wondered whether to continue this or not, and I'm still kinda undecided on that, but feel free to let me know if I should or not, thanks for reading, I really appreciate it ^^**_  
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